Pairings/Characters: Selina Kyle, Clark/Bruce, Dinah Lance, Diana Prince, Linda/Barbara, Kathy Kane, Shayera Hol, Mari McCabe, Beatriz DeCosta, Tora Olafsdotter, Donna Troy, Raven, Ivy/Harley, Karen Starr, Dick Grayson…
Continuity: DC Comicsverse, with a touch of Smallville
Genres: Crackfic, Fluff, Humor
Rating: Mild ‘R’ (For nudity)
Warnings: Pretty much total crack! ;)
Summary: When Catwoman makes an unusual artistic discovery, she shares it with other superheroes...and a few villains. ;)
Date Of Completion: January 5, 2011
Date Of Posting: January 8, 2011
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, DC does, more’s the pity.
Word Count: 1362
Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Author’s Note: Happy Birthday, rai_daydreamer! I used the theme of art for this story to also say ‘thank you’ for all the wonderful art you gift us with all year ‘round! :)
In moonlight dreaming.
Catwoman stealthily made her way through the mansion. The place reeked of Old Money, which she liked, of course, with its iconic pieces and a wealth of pedigree behind them. The nouveau riche were fond of gaudy baubles, some of which weren’t nearly as interesting. But the Stafford family was Old Money all the way, so Catwoman headed for the safe.
Her reflection shimmered in moonlit mirrors as she padded lightly down the hall. The full-length mirrors were gilt-edged, reminding her of the Hall of Versailles.
She slipped into the library, intent on reaching the safe behind the painting behind the desk when a shaft of moonlight suddenly illuminated a red velvet curtain covering an alcove.
Curiosity tripped the Cat.
She actually did trip over a rolled-up part of the rug, cursing softly, and slipped over to the alcove and pulled aside the curtain, her mouth falling open. She started as the moonlight illuminated two statues.
Pure white marble glittered in the moonlight, the image of one man tenderly cupping the other man’s face with both hands as they kissed passionately, nude bodies entwining, the second man’s right leg slipping around the other man’s. The second man’s left hand rested on his lover’s hip, his other hand saucily cupping a well-shaped buttock.
It was a beautiful sculpture, but what astonished Catwoman even more was whom the statues resembled: Superman and Batman!
The Superman curl curved gracefully with marble solidity, and the cowl hid the upper half of Batman’s features, but the sculptor had left the eyeholes free of the opaque white that usually hid the eyes. Catwoman had seen the Bat’s eyes without the white lenses before, and these were remarkably good facsimiles.
The passion of this sculpture tingled down to her groin as she admired the curve of a hip and strength of bone and muscle. Beauty was pure and the expressions were tender and loving, delicious and sweet.
Catwoman drank in every detail. Whoever had sculpted this piece believed in romance of the Greek variety.
How did they know these two were head-over-heels for each other? She studied the sculpture while tapping her foot, one finger tapping her chin. Must be a female sculptor. She grinned cattily. Her sex would always be able to sniff out relationships.
She admired the sculpt and play of Batman’s muscles. She had seen them up-close-and-personal, of course, and Superman’s a handful of times. The detail was uncanny. Who would know both men so…intimately?
She would have loved to gaze on this work of art all night, but she had work to do.
It was simple work to crack the safe and remove the diamond-and-sapphire necklace that she’d come for. Admiring its beauty, she tucked it away in her belt pouch and prepared to leave.
She paused, then strode over to the alcove and took one last look. Smiling, she waved to the boys and took off as the curtain fell.
“Oh, my goodness!” Black Canary’s eyes widened. “Cat, when did you ever find this?”
Catwoman smiled. “I’d rather not say.”
“Hmm.” The Canary ran her hand over the cool marble. “Beautiful work.”
“I agree with that.” The Canary patted Batman’s ass. “This is as fine as Greek sculpture.”
“Wonder Woman ought to see this.”
Wonder Woman admired the artistry. As she placed a hand on Superman’s thigh, she smiled radiantly.
“Truly a work of art.” Catwoman and Black Canary smirked. “I have grown more admiring of the male form in recent years. The World’s Finest are fine examples.”
“Oh, most definitely,” purred Catwoman.
“Who owns this dwelling and exhibits such fine taste?”
“This used to be the Stafford Mansion, but the new owner’s name is buried in corporate paperwork.”
“Ah, a mystery.” Canary’s eyes gleamed.
“Whoever it is hasn’t come to live here yet.”
“Then we ought to share the wealth.”
The three women beamed.
A small gathering of female superheroes sat in chairs as Catwoman stood in front of the curtain in the Mansion’s library. Wonder Woman and Black Canary sat in the front row, and there was a diverse gathering in that row and in the two behind them: Supergirl, Batgirl, Batwoman, Hawkgirl, Vixen, Fire, Ice, Wonder Girl, Raven, Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn (a truce had been called for the latter two). The original viewing trio had considered inviting male heroes, but decided to start with a Girls’ Night Out. Refreshments were served, and the women talked amongst themselves as they waited for the unveiling.
“Ladies, thank you for coming tonight. We truly have a treat for you.”
The women settled down, eager for the unveiling. Catwoman was a consummate showwoman, milking the moment for all it was worth as her hand hovered over the pull cord, but like a good showwoman, she knew when to deliver. She yanked on the cord, pulling the curtain back to reveal the treasures within.
Gasps of appreciation and excitement went up from the assemblage, applause mixing with wolf whistles.
“Outstanding!” said Batgirl.
“Gorgeous!” added Vixen.
“A true work of art,” added Hawkgirl with a happy sigh.
Even Batwoman was pleased, admiring the beauty of the subjects, her red lips curving into a smile.
“Whose statues are these, Cat?” asked Ivy.
“Whoever owns this house. The new owner’s name is buried in paperwork.” Catwoman’s green eyes gleamed. “We get the opportunity to view these beauties.”
“Damn straight!” whooped Vixen.
“Sorry I’m late…oh, Great Rao!”
Everyone laughed at Power Girl’s entrance. The blond’s eyes lit up as she saw the statues. “Wow, I never knew Batman was so sexy!”
The women continued their appreciation of the art, failing to notice a shadow by one of the windows. The figure slipped inside the library.
“Hey, what are you ladies up to…? Wow!”
Robin’s eyes widened, and he strutted toward the statues, getting a close-up look.
“Boy, I wouldn’t mind seeing him as one of the statues,” Power Girl whispered to Supergirl.
Supergirl laughed as Batgirl nodded vigorously.
Apparently the other women agreed as they ogled Robin’s assets.
For his part, Robin was admiring the World’s Finest, oblivious to the fuss he was creating behind him, so to speak. He placed a gloved hand on Superman’s thigh.
Ivy fingered her belt pouch. If she hadn’t give her word to maintain the truce, she would have thrown her latest batch of sex pollen over the assemblage and sat back to watch the show, though she had to admit the Bird’s ass was a show unto itself.
“So, Robin, you approve of our work of art?” asked Catwoman.
Robin smiled. “You bet!”
Another chair was brought over and Robin set down next to Barbara. She nudged him. “You’re shameless.”
He leaned over to tickle her ear with his warm breath. “And you love it.”
Supergirl smirked as Batgirl rolled her eyes.
“So, ladies and gentleman…let’s feast our eyes before we must go, hmm?” Catwoman strutted as if on stage. Robin had to admire her showmanship.
The next morning, the Chief of Security entered her boss’ office. “There was quite a party at the mansion last night.” She laid out the photographs on his desk.
“I see that the ladies appreciate fine art.” The boss looked at one photo. “Gentleman, too.”
The Chief smiled. “They don’t know who owns the mansion or art.”
“That’s fine.” The boss sipped a cappuccino. “It’s better this way.”
“I must say, you gave the artist quite a few details.”
“Of course.” The boss’ expression was bland. “I believe success is in the details.”
“Your namesake would be proud.”
The boss nodded, eyes glittering. “I hope so.”
The Chief nodded and left the office, smirking once she shut the door behind her.
Back in the office, a long, slender finger touched a photograph that featured the marble statues.
Lex Luthor smiled as he lifted the cup to his lips. “Beautiful, Clark. Bruce surely suits you.” He drank the steamy liquid. “Praise Alexander the Great,” he said softly as he paid homage to Greek love of this particular art.
Pairings/Characters: …Mercy Graves, Lex Luthor