bradygirl_12 (bradygirl_12) wrote,

Fic: The BBC (1/1)

Title: The BBC (1/1)
Author: BradyGirl
Pairings/Characters: Clark/?, Lois
Continuity: Smallville
Genre: Humor
Rating: Mild ‘R’
Warnings: Slashy crack! ;)
Spoilers: None
Summary: Lois is suspicious of Clark’s social calendar.
Date Of Completion: September 26, 2008
Date Of Posting: September 26, 2008
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, DC does, more’s the pity.
Word Count: 1375
Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Author’s Notes: Happy Birthday, morganichele! :)
This idea came about after discussing the new season of Smallville with the Birthday Girl. ;)

Clark smiled as he hurried to The Daily Planet offices. He really was looking forward to getting into work. The new article he was working on was ready to be started, and he had plenty of research material to work with.

He flipped open his brand-new cellphone and tapped in a message to Chloe to meet him for lunch. She texted back with an affirmative and he smiled. He could always depend on Chloe.

He bustled through the main doors of The Daily Planet building, heading for his desk and seeing Lois already at hers. She smirked at him as he nearly flew in and put his coat on the chair behind his desk.

“You’re hot to trot, aren’t you, Smallville?”

“Hmm?” He booted up his computer and rummaged around for some pencils. He wanted to make corrections in the notes written in his notebook before typing them up. He liked to work back-and-forth between paper and computer.

“Why are you so enthused on a Monday morning?”

Clark half-registered the hustle-and-bustle of the newsroom as he said absently, “Oh, just rejuvenated after a nice, long weekend.”

“Yeah, you took Friday off. Who’s the mystery boyfriend?”

He grinned. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“I would.”

Clark just grinned and began revising his notes as he clicked on the Word icon on his desktop.

His cellphone rang. “Clark Kent here. Oh, hi!” His voice immediately grew soft. “I had a great time! And thanks for the new cellphone. It’s super!” Lois rolled her eyes. “Dinner? Um, sorry, I have to work late. How about lunch tomorrow? See you then!”

He flipped the phone shut and smirked at Lois. He could feel her burning from curiosity all the way over here.

& & & & & &

Lois huffed over the sentence she was writing, struggling to get it right.

Her partner-in-crime was not at his desk, out to lunch with her cousin. If she didn’t have this deadline, she would have joined them.

Damn that Smallville, anyway! She knew he was gay and that didn’t bother her in the least, but why wouldn’t he cough up the identity of his boyfriend?

And he was sporting some shiny new threads lately, and a new cellphone, and he’d been going out to dinner just about every night for the past two weeks. What the hell? Where was he getting the coin for all these expenses? The guy was a good reporter but his salary was still entry-level right now.

She clicked quickly on The Daily Planet website, smirking at the society section asking the question, Who Is Billionaire’s New Squeeze? Rich folk sure helped sell papers.

She chewed on the end of her pencil, grimacing as she registered the taste. Damn, she better get some lunch!

She started fishing around on her cluttered desk for a menu from the pizza joint down the street and knocked off Clark’s desk calendar. Grumbling, she bent down to pick it up.

Her eyes widened at the notation on the page that had flipped open. In Clark’s neat hand for today’s date it read:

7:00 Antoine’s

The fanciest French restaurant in town?

She flipped the pages, growing more agitated as she read notations for dinner at some of the most expensive restaurants in town, and a few she didn’t recognize.

Since when did farmboy Kent, he of the plaid shirts and jeans, who liked the menu at The Bluebird Diner in Smallville, have tastes for all this fancy cuisine?

She stopped at the note for the upcoming weekend.

Her eyes narrowed. Time for some investigative reporting!

& & & & & &

Clark whistled as he approached the Metropolis Towers. He entered the lobby and took the elevator up to the penthouse floor, using a magnetized gold card to let himself in. He was looking forward to this weekend!

He stopped in his tracks as he saw…


“That’s right, Smallville.”

She stood before the doors leading to the terrace, her arms akimbo as she waited for him to say something else.

“How did you get in here?!”

“Simple. Bribery.”

“I don’t believe that. Lex wouldn't have staff who were easily bribed…”

“Lex? So he’s your mystery boyfriend?”

“Not exactly,” Clark hedged.

“Or maybe it’s Ollie,” said a voice from the bedroom.

Oliver Queen came out in a light-green shirt and dark pants, arms folded, blond hair bristling.

Out of the second bedroom came Lex Luthor, wearing a black jacket and pants and lilac silk shirt that went perfectly with his ivory skin, arms also folded.

“No, maybe it’s Bruce,” said another voice, and Bruce Wayne came out of the third bedroom in a Savile Row three-piece dark-blue suit, dark hair perfectly coiffed and arms crossed.

All three were scowling.

“Uh, hi, guys.” Clark waved tentatively, a sheepish grin on his face.

“What the hell, Clark!” Lex growled, pacing forward. “I thought we had something good going in Smallville!”

“We do, Lex.” Clark smiled his most charming smile as Lex began backing him up across the room.

“And what about me, Clark?” Ollie said, starting forward. “I moved from Star City to Metropolis for you!”

“And very much appreciated, Ollie,” Clark said as he nearly tripped over the coffee table.

“And I suppose you were amused at stringing me along as well?” Bruce almost sneered, his gait panther-like as he closed in, too.

“Well, it was kind of exciting,” Clark nervously acknowledged as he skirted the couch.

Lois smirked. “Pretty good thing goin’ there, Smallville. Though you weren’t very good at covering your tracks.” She tossed back her ponytail. “Once I discovered that some of the restaurant names on your desk calendar were in Gotham, I did a little more digging. The gossip girls on staff are a reporter’s best friend. Seems that they had reports of a ‘mystery’ lover in Gotham and here in Metropolis for all three of our billionaire boys, and all at the same times and dates you had listed.”

“We wined you…” Lex said.

“And dined you…” Ollie added.

“And took you on fabulous weekends,” Bruce finished.

Clark was backed up against the wall now, three very angry billionaires forming a semi-circle around him.

“Well, guys, you see, I was trying to research an article on billionaire boyfriends…”

“You mean billionaire sugar daddies!” Ollie growled, reaching out and grabbing Clark by the collar of his shirt and pulling him forward.

“Letting us buy you all those pretty things,” Lex sniped, ripping Clark’s shirt open and exposing his chest.

“Juggling the three of us while you had your fun,” hissed Bruce as he unzipped Clark’s jeans, pushing them down to expose Clark’s black silk briefs with the little lavender hearts on them.

“Lavender hearts?” snorted Ollie. “Looks like your purchase, Lex.”

“A bracelet?” Lex sneered, touching the gold I.D. bracelet studded with emeralds. “Your style, Ollie.”

Both looked at the choker around Clark’s throat.

“Black with the Wayne crest?!” they cried in unison.

“I always mark my property,” Bruce smirked.

“Uh, guys…” Lois said.

All three were looking at Clark with calculating expressions, and Clark looked back.

With a saucy little smile on his lips.

“What do you say, boys? We willing to share our naughty little toy?” Ollie asked.

“Not so little,” Lex smirked as he rubbed his palm against Clark’s crotch, the moan causing a chuckle from all three.

“I’d say let’s call this meeting of the Billionaire Boyfriends Club to order,” Bruce said, his eyes glittering with predatory glee.

& & & & & &

Lois found herself out in the hall so quickly her head spun. She turned back to the door and pounded on it.

“Hey! I gave you guys the heads-up! Don’t I get to watch?”

& & & & & &

Inside the penthouse:

“What’s the secret password?”

“Sugar Daddy.”

“How about a secret handshake?”

“It’s not his hand I want to shake!”

“You weren’t very clever at hiding your movements, Clark. The desk calendar?!”

“Who says I wanted to hide this forever?”

“Give his mouth something else to do!”

& & & & & &

The meeting of the Billionaire Boyfriends Club came to order and checked off every item on the agenda.

They scheduled another meeting for the next night.


Author's Notes Continued: Sorry, but I couldn’t put the pairings up in the Characters/Pairing line or in the tags because it would have spoiled the embarrassment of riches! ;)

Also, this is the Batman Begins/The Dark Knight version of Bruce, since we don't have a Smallville Bruce! Grrr!

Tags: birthday fic, clark kent, lois lane, smallville, superman, the bbc
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