Pairings/Characters: Han/Luke, Rey
Continuity: Star Wars (The Original Trilogy), Star Wars (The Sequel Trilogy), Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens (2015) and Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Genres: Angst, Drama
Warnings: Major Character Death
Spoilers: For Star Wars VII: The Force Awakens and Star Wars VIII: The Last Jedi (2017)
Summary: They had time for everything. Until there was none.
Date Of Completion: December 31, 2018
Date Of Posting: February 5, 2018
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, George Lucas and Twentieth-Century Fox do, more’s the pity.
Word Count: 862
Feedback welcome and appreciated.
As the Universe,
Until we didn’t.
“Regrets And Other Poems”
(Common Republic Era)
Luke felt the pain deep inside him, tearing him apart.
“No,” he whispered, closing his eyes.
The Force was collapsing in on him, sending him spiraling throughout starry space. All the flickering hope he had kept alive was extinguished in a micro-second.
You fool! You wasted time!
His fists clenched as he tried to absorb the loss of the man he loved.
“Hey, kid, quit beatin’ yourself up.”
Shocked, Luke opened his eyes and saw an ethereal Han standing only a few feet away.
For a matter of seconds, he stared. Standing on this craggy hillside as the sea crashed on the rocks below, he felt numb. The image of Han was dressed in the black-and-white outfit he’d been wearing when Luke had first met him many years ago. He glittered with a golden aura.
“You’re young,” Luke said in wonder.
Han touched his own face. “Looks like. Definitely a perk.”
“Han, what happened?”
Han waved a glittery hand. “Later. You hid out pretty well, kid, but I found you.”
Han flashed his trademark smirk as Luke’s heart broke. “You think I haven’t picked up some things, hanging out with Force-Sensitives like you and Leia all these years?” He pointed to Luke. “I tracked you down. Was getting’ ready to fly out when…” He shrugged.
“You look as handsome as the first time I met you in that dingy cantina in Mos Eisley.” Luke actually chuckled, something he hadn’t done in ages. “How could something so beautiful exist in such a dive?”
“Just natural, I guess.”
Luke let his tears flow freely. “The day I met you was the best day of my life.”
Luke laughed again. He hadn’t laughed in years.
“Good to see you yukkin’ it up, kid.”
Luke looked at the apparition. “You make it easy.” He wiped his nose with his sleeve. “I have a beard now, you know.”
“You handle the grizzled look pretty well.”
Luke rubbed his chest. The pain had lessened but he still ached.
“I’m sorry, Han. I failed you and Leia. I failed Ben.”
“Nah, you didn’t.”
“I should have seen the darkness growing inside him.”
“I dunno.” Han shrugged. “When I first held my son in my arms minutes after his birth, I felt…something was off.”
Luke frowned. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I was always wary of my own son. Never said anything to Leia. After we divorced when Ben was twelve, I didn’t feel it was my place.” Han’s hazel eyes were shaded. “I should have told you when you took him on as an apprentice.”
Luke shook his head. “Warning or not, I should have known.” He swept his arm out. “Some Jedi Master!”
“Maybe some people are just bad seeds.”
“Ben’s not a bad seed, Han. He’s your son.”
“He killed me, kid.”
Shock whipsawed through Luke. “Wh…what?”
Han crossed his arms. “I confronted him and he shivved me right through the gut.” His voice betrayed no emotions.
Luke couldn’t form words. He reached out a shaking hand, touching the nimbus surrounding Han. The golden aura sparked as energy flowed to Luke. It was warm and gentle.
“Don’t be.” Han’s voice was firm. “You didn’t thrust that lightsaber, Ren did.”
Luke noticed that Han had used his son’s new name, not the name he and Leia had given him.
“He’s dead to me, kid.” Han’s laugh was tinged with bitterness. “Though I suppose that’s ironic, huh? I’m dead but Ren’s dead to me.”
The pain was sharp as Luke said, “Han, I’m still sorry.”
The ocean kept up its crashing rhythm far below them. Han shrugged.
“I appreciate the sentiment, but it’s done.”
“I love you.”
“The biggest mistake I ever made was running from you.”
“I know that, too.”
Luke’s smile trembled through his tears. “I should have treasured every minute with you after you and Leia broke up.”
“We found our way back to each other.”
“And I ran away.”
“Ren killed your students and burned your academy to the ground.”
“I should have stayed with you.” Luke swept his arm around. “Being a hermit is peaceful, unless you’re haunted by the past.”
“Quit beatin’ yourself up, kid.”
“Listen to me for once, will ya?”
Luke realized that Han was beginning to fade. He frantically reached out. “Don’t go!”
Han appeared to listen to something in the distance. “She’s coming.”
“Who’s she? Don’t leave me!”
“I’ll be seein’ ya around, kid.” Han smiled as he faded under Luke’s desperate lunge.
The crunch of a boot on gravelly stone pierced his fog of anguish and he drew back, his face reflecting pain and upset.
A pretty young woman in farmer’s garb stood before him, and she dug into the folds of her short robe and produced a lightsaber. She held it out to him.
I can’t do this anymore. Not without you, Han.
He took the lightsaber, stared at it, then threw it over his shoulder as he walked away with a grieving heart.
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