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Fic: Payback (1/1)

Title: Payback (1/1)
Author: BradyGirl_12
Pairings/Characters: The Joker/Harley Quinn (Implied Ivy/Harley)
Genre: Drama
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Author chooses not to warn
Spoilers: None
Summary: The Joker is bored with Harley.
Date Of Completion: February 28, 2016
Date Of Posting: March 9, 2016
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, DC does, more’s the pity.
Word Count: 389
Feedback welcome and appreciated.

The Joker delivered a swift kick to the prone body lying on the cement floor. Harley groaned as he made contact with her ribs.

“You’re getting better, kid. You’re getting craftier every day, but you just didn’t have it today. I win; you lose. Sometimes it just goes like that.” He cackled. “You’ve been getting uppity, dear. Tsk, tsk.”

The Joker strutted across the floor, ignoring Harley. The warehouse was decorated with his giant playing cards, Joker-in-the-Boxes, boxing gloves, and other tricks of his deadly trade. Light filtered in through the high windows, casting everything in a half-lit, half-shadowed fight.

The Joker smirked. “Lovely Harley, it’s time you stopped hanging out with Ivy.” His grin faded. “She was a good outlet for you to let off steam. After our little tiffs, you’d run to her and cool off and then come back to me. Lately you’ve been getting mouthy, though. It must be the bad influence of your female friend, my dear. I don’t like it. It may be time to get rid of her.”

Joker picked up a bat and swung it. The swish-swish sound underlaid another moan from Harley. He sighed.

“I really need to remember to take the garbage out.” Joker pulled out a cigar from his jacket pocket. “I just hope I didn’t choose the exploding cigar.”

He lit it and puffed away. “Definitely need to get rid of Ivy. The woman’s an odd duck. Loves her damned plants more than people. How screwed up is that?”

Joker swung the bat and hit it against the wall. “Ooh, I like that, though the crowbar’s even better.” He stood over Harley. “You bore me, my dear. I think I’ll hit you out of the park.” He lifted the bat.

“Urgh!” Joker’s body jerked and he slowly pitched over onto the floor, a knife sticking out of his back.

A shadow moved. “Stabbing you in the back is a pretty appropriate way for you to go, right?”

The figure bent down and pulled out the knife. He whispered in Joker’s ear, “I did what Batman couldn’t do.”

Red Hood turned and walked out of the warehouse as he pulled out his cell phone and hit Ivy’s number. “Time to come collect your girlfriend, Red. You and she won’t have any more Mistah J. troubles. Bank on it.”


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 9th, 2016 11:31 pm (UTC)
Oh, this!!!! ^_______^

Absolutely perfect, hon. This is my Jay, and just what the Joker deserved.

*applauds* :D
Mar. 9th, 2016 11:38 pm (UTC)
Ha, thank you, Saavi! :)

In a perfect world, Jason would be allowed to do this, but of course DC isn't going to lose the Joker.
Mar. 14th, 2016 07:34 pm (UTC)
I have been reading your works on-and-off for years, primarily lurking. This is probably going to seem rather harsh, and for that, I do apologize and I just feel like I need to say this. I have mostly read your Superman/Batman works, but a few of your other fics, and even a few of your original works you have posted. I believe you write professionally, is that correct? (I am sorry if I am mistaken about that.) And if you do write professionally, I would really like to see you succeed! Nothing is more inspirational than seeing someone I've read for years become successful.

I honestly feel like the premise of this fic is quite good, however, the execution just falls flat for me. Nothing really happened here. I do not feel like the Joker was as good as he could have been. He wasn't nearly as sadistic as I would expect for the situation. I feel like he would have played more games with Harley, pulled her around more, dragged her by the hair, put her head in his lap while he petted her, thinking to himself while she's bleeding from her nose and lip, eye beginning to swell shut. And then become disgusted suddenly and throw her around again. Where's the cruelty and the vindictiveness?

I did not care for how Jason just showed up and stabbed Joker in the back. There was no hint or clue he was there, it was just convenient he walked into the scene right as Harley was to have her brains splattered. If there had been a rustle, a few small sounds that had Joker's paranoia on overload, and Joker perhaps went smashing through some of his jack-in-the-boxes while Harley is coughing up blood, angering Joker more as he tries to listen for small sounds even while making a ruckus, but then a rat comes scurrying through, calming his paranoia enough to return to Harley.

I have seen your writing stay at this stagnate level for years. I feel like you can do better. I would like to see you do better. Of course, this is all just my opinion and you are free to disregard every last bit of it if you feel it just does not suit you.
Mar. 14th, 2016 10:24 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you continue reading! :)

You're right, I could have gone the route you described, but I chose a minimalist approach. Everyone knows the extent of the Joker's sadism so I didn't need to be explicit with it. As for Jason showing up suddenly, that's how the Bats work. They don't give themselves away before they strike.

My approach didn't work for you and that's fine. I appreciate you delivering criticism in a polite manner.
Mar. 18th, 2016 08:06 am (UTC)
I really really liked the surprising ending :D At first I thought it was Ivy, but this was even better :)
“Time to come collect your girlfriend, Red. You and she won’t have any more Mistah J. troubles. Bank on it.”
JUST AWESOME! :D I had very much fun reading ^^
Mar. 18th, 2016 01:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I'm glad you were surprised by the ending. :)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )


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