Pairings/Characters: Jason Todd, Cass Cain, Stephanie Brown, Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Bruce/Dick, Alfred Pennyworth
Genres: Fluff, Touches Of Humor (With Lots Of Jason Snark), Romance
Warnings: Rough language (Hey, it's Jason's POV, so whaddaya expect? ;) )
Summary: Jason contemplates his family in his own unique way.
Date Of Completion: April 6, 2013
Date Of Posting: March 23, 2015
Disclaimer: I don’t own ‘em, DC does, more’s the pity.
Word Count: 1580
Feedback welcome and appreciated.
Author’s Note: This one was in my notebook for awhile. It’s my first time writing Jason’s voice so hopefully I got him right. This definitely takes place before the Reboot!
We have one fuckin’ weird family.
I suppose that shouldn’t surprise anybody. Everyone runs around in capes and tights and punches out bad guys. Bats in the belfry, so to speak. Y’know, just your average American family.
The whole clan was gathered at the Manor. Alfred had whipped up his usual food that really hit the spot. People were laughin’ and drinkin’ and havin’ a good time. Cass and Steph were gigglin’ in the corner while Babs laughed with Tim and Damian was slouched in a chair, lookin’ like he’d rather be fightin’ Killer Croc than be here. Bruce and Dick were sittin’ on the couch. Alfred came in with fresh drinks for everyone.
Yeah, about Bruce and Golden Boy: they were nuzzlin’ on the couch and generally bein’ all lovey-dovey. Geez, they should get a room!
Nobody paid ‘em much attention. Everyone was pretty used to the lovebats by now, though Damian could still be freaked out. I smirked as he rolled his eyes and slumped down even more in his chair.
Well, can’t say as I blame him. I remember the first time I saw Bruce and Golden Boy kiss. Gotta admit it freaked me out. I ran to Alfred and he explained to me how things were. It was complicated but if anyone could explain this tangled fuck-up, he could. I admit that it still kind of threw me, but it was weird all around. I also gotta admit that I started to try and remember if Bruce had been puttin’ the moves on me. I couldn’t remember any time. So why Dick?
Alfie must’ve figured that was the way my mind was workin’. He explained that nothin’ happened until Golden Boy was eighteen.
“It is just their way. It is a case-by-case basis, and it is just them. Their relationship is…complex.”
Alfie wasn’t kiddin’. Complex doesn’t begin to describe it.
The music wasn’t heavy metal or anythin’ like that, but that longhair stuff Bruce likes. He played old-fashioned records on the stereo and the sound was good. Steph grabbed Tim and they started to dance. Cass and Barbara were deep in chick talk and Bruce and Dick were still makin’ moony eyes at each other.
Bruce sure looked relaxed, dressed really casual in jeans and a black turtleneck sweater. He had his arm around the waist of Golden Boy, who was curled up on the couch next to him. He was wearin’ tight jeans and a yellow T-shirt, typical for Golden Boy. Always showin’ off the goods.
Alfie says it’s because Dick’s circus folk. Exhibi…damn, what was that word? Exhibitionism, that’s it! Show-off is what it means. I believe it. Any guy who wears manties until he’s in college along with those dumb pixie boots has to be one of those.
Which is kinda funny. Burce is all that stuffy Old Money and Dickie’s about as far from that as you can get. They’re like a pair that shouldn’t work but somehow did, like Batman and Robin. Who woulda thought that a kid dressed in neon colors and pixie boots would work as Batman’s partner? God, I felt like a walking target in the short pants and yellow cape, but somehow Dickie pulled it off.
Somehow Golden Boy always comes up smellin’ like roses. It’s one of his most annoying qualities.
Dick nuzzled Bruce’s neck and I heard a noise from Damian. I looked over at him and saw a scowl on his face. Not that was anythin’ new. The brat seemed to wear a permanent scowl. I know he has daddy issues and respects ‘Grayson’ but this has really thrown him.
Damian left his chair and stomped off just as Bruce kissed Dick. I rolled my eyes and followed the kid.
He took the stairs two at a time and flopped on his bed, still cursing under his breath in some language I couldn’t savvy. The surly routine didn’t faze me. I invented it.
“Get out, Todd.”
I smirked as I leaned against the doorjamb with my arms crossed. “Not on your life, brat.”
He tossed a glare over his shoulder. I stayed cool as a cucumber. Damian could slit my throat in one move. He’d grown up with Psycho Mom in the League of Shadows. I’d have to warn Dick. I mean, Golden Boy knows what this kid is capable of, but he trusts too easy. He annoys the crap outta me but I don’t want him to end up with a shiv in his back.
“So what’s your beef, brat?”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Why not? It’s what you are.”
I laughed. At least that sounded like a typical teenager. “Lissen, I know what it’s like to be under the Bat and to come up short.”
“I don’t ‘come up short’, as you put it.” Damian glared out the window. “I know more than those two put together.”
“Those two?” I knew who he meant but wanted to hear him say it.
“Father and Grayson.”
“Keep thinkin’ that, brat. Batman knows fuckin’ everything and Nightwing can fly circles around you.”
“Whoa, brat. They’re just different, is all.”
“Different?” Damian sat up fast. “Pawing each other in front of everyone?”
“Actually, they keep it low-key in front of us.”
“You call that shameful display out there low-key?”
“Yeah, I do.” I pushed away from the doorjamb and circled the bed warily. “They’re just neckin’. Nothin’ to scare the children.”
His glare was more murderous than ever. Now I know why Tim slept with one eye open.
“I thought Alfie explained to you the deal with the original Dynamic Duo.”
Damian snorted. “Pennyworth attempted it.”
I bristled. Damian’s quirks usually amused instead of annoyed me, but I hated his attitude toward Alfred. The little snot treated Alfred like a servant instead of with the respect he deserved. Not that I would ever say it in so many words to anyone but Damian. Gotta keep up my image, y’know? ‘Sides, Alfred knows.
“It’s ‘Alfred’ or ‘Alfie’, not ‘Pennyworth’.”
“Just as I said. You should show him respect.”
“Don’t act stupid. I know you’re smarter than that.” Damian looked like he’d be happy to slit my throat. The kid has anger issues. “Just sayin’, Alfie raised Bruce and everyone else who came after.”
Damian smirked. “Then you know what I mean. It must have been odd for you to follow in Grayson’s pixie boots.”
“We’re not talkin’ about me.”
“No? It didn’t seem odd to find out what Father was doing with his protege?”
“Didn’t you hear what Alfie toldja? Nothin’ happened before Dickie turned eighteen.”
Damian shrugged. “It just seems strange that Father and Grayson act like husband and wife.”
“Yeah, well, who ever said this family was dull?”
Damian flopped back down on the bed. “It was certainly not me.”
“Can’t argue with that.”
I left Damian to stew. I met Steph in the hall.
“The demonspawn all right?” she asked.
“You mean besides the boss and Dick makin’ out on the couch?”
“Ha, so you noticed, too?”
“Noticed? I’d have to be blind not to.”
Steph grinned. “Aren’t they cute?”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re crazy.”
“They are crazy in love.”
I shook my head as Steph continued down the hall toward the bathroom.
Back downstairs Dick was resting his head on Bruce’s shoulder. Bruce had his arm around Dick’s shoulders, a slight smile on his face. Another record was playing on the ancient stereo.
I couldn’t say I understood what these two had goin’. There were times they were so self-absorbed that they didn’t know anyone else was around. Weird, but I guess it worked for them.
Barbara was lookin’ at them with affection in her eyes. I know she’s always had a soft spot for Golden Boy. I sidled my way up to her wheelchair.
“The lovey-doveys are nauseating,” I snarked.
She smiled. “Aw, they’re not so bad. Consider yourself lucky that you don’t see what they get up to in the Batcave.”
I bet she got an eyeful. Babs is good at spying on people, even better than Bruce. She’s the one who came up with the Grayson Cam, for cryin’ out loud. Golden Boy loves to preen in front of it. Man, he is such a show-off.
Barbara looked at me with shrewd eyes. She’s smart as a whip.
“You really don’t mind their public displays of affection, do you? As long as you can tweak Damian.”
I smirked. “What do you think?”
She answered with a smirk of her own. She looked at Bruce and Dick and said softly, “They’re good for each other.”
Barbara laughed. “You bluster a lot, Jason, but you really don’t mind the two of them at all, PDAs or not.”
I toldja she was a smart cookie. Too smart for my comfort.
Bruce rose from the couch and gently laid a dozing Dick out. I guess Golden Boy was really exhausted. Bruce touched his face tenderly and straightened up.
Yep, we had a weird family, headed by a very unconventional Mom-and-Pop duo. While I never would have felt comfortable tanglin’ tongues with Bruce (though maybe with Dickie), I had no problem with them knockin’ boots. I knew what it was like to grow up without love, and they helped hold this crazy bunch together with love.
Now that’s pure sap, so I’m outta here. See ya around, suckers!